BBC: How romance ruined love

Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English- the show that brings you an interesting topic, authentic listening practice and vocabulary to help you improve your language skills. I'm Dan...

And I'm Neil. In this programme, we'll be discussing romance, as well as teaching you 6 new items of vocabulary, of course. Now, Dan, why are you looking so upset?

Oh, Neil, it's all over! She broke up with me on Valentine's Day! She said I wasn't the one. 

Cheer up Dan, cheer up, it's not your fault. 

No?

You can blame romanticism. 

Romanticism? Waht's that?

Romanticism was a movement that started in Europe and spread worldwide. It influenced literature, art, poetry, mujsic and the way people behaved. 

A movement meaning 'a group of people working together to support an idea'?

Yes. And that bring us on to this week's question. When was the start of the romantic period? Was it a) the beginning of the 18th century, b) the middle of the 18th century or c) the end of the 18th century?

Well, I honestly have no idea, so I'm going to go smack in the middle...the middle of the 18th century. 

And we'll find out later on in the show if you got the question right. Now, going back to your ex-girlfriend, let me take a wild guess...love at first sight, was it?

Well...yes. What's your point?

Well, it's not your fault, Dan. The idea is romantic, and by that I mean it originated from the romantic era. It was part of the zeitgeist, and many of these ideas still continue today.

Zeitgeist- the word comes from German and literally means 'the spirit of the time'.

A lot of what we believe about love today- for example, the idea that two people will live happily even after- comes from the romantic period. 

But, everyone loves a bit of romance!

Well, that's true. However, it's one thing to enjoy romance, but it can be dangerous to judge your relationship against romantic ideals. 

Ture, it might not be a realistic benchmark, and by that I mean 'a standard from which other things are judged'. So we grow up hearing these romantic stories, which leads us to develop an idea of what a realationship is meant to be...and then we get disappinted by the real thing?

Well, to put it bluntly, yes. The romantic ideal is just that- an idealized version, or perfect version, of a realtionship. But it often leaves out the nitty-gritty, meaning 'practical details'. Details like work, stress, children...all of the things that we have to deal with in everyday life. 

Not to mention, the fact that everyone is flawed, or imperfect, in their own way. That means we get angry or moody or upset for all sorts of reasons. 

Exactly! Many popular love stories and at the point where the characters get together or many. But very few show us how to keep that someone special over a long period of time. A realtionship is hard work. 

And if the realtionship you are in isn't as perfect as the story said it should be, then maybe you're with the wrong person, which could explain why so many marriages end in divorce. I wonder if that's true for other people's relationships. Fortunately, I found some people with partners and asked them. 

Well, I asked these people about theirs...

Is your partenr 100% perfect for you?

No. 

Not 100%.

No, I don't think that's true. 

Does that mean true love doesn't exist?

No, it just means that all realtionships must be worked on and that perfection is impossible. But we should never give up trying. 

You're right! She wasn't the one for me! I need to find my next Juliet. She'll be just perfect!

Oh, Dan. You haven't learnt anything! You're just a hopeless romantic. Now, can you remember the quiz question? I asked you when the Romantic period originated: wa it a) the beginning of the 18the century, b) the middle of the 18the century or c)the end of the 18the century?

And I said: the middle of the 18th century.

Wrong I'm afraid! It was towards the end of the 18th century.

I have nothing good in my life at teh moment. 

Shall we take a look at the vocabulary too?

Sure. The first word we had was movement- a movement is 'a group of people working together to support an idea'. Can you think of any modern day movements, Neil?

The environmental movement is very strong and popular at the moment, as is the movement for equality- gender equality, for example. And the next word we had was zeitgeist- now a zeitgeist literally means 'the sprit of a paticular time'. What woudl you say that the zeitgeist is these days, Dan?

Well, my current house has a garden and it has somewhere I can park my car, so that would be the benchmark for a new house. It would have to have that at least, and more. Next we have idealized- an idealized thins is 'an often imagined, perfect version of something'. Now, what three things would exist in an idealized world for you then, Dan?